The Funky Time Machine Badger

WARPING AROUND THE BELTS IN BOSENA SOLAR SYSTEM IN MY BADGER MARK II I WAS CHASING AROUND A RIFTER PILOT WHO WAS KEEN TO INTRODUCE HIMSELF BUT WE KEPT MISSING EACH OTHER.

BADGER MARK II

DRAT. THEN I REMEMBERED THE FLUX COILS IN THE BADGER'S THRUSTERS WERE FAULTY AND DID IN FACT ACT AS A SUB-VELOCITY TIME MACHINE (OF SORTS). I QUICKLY ENGAGED MY WARP DRIVE AND SET WARP SPEED TO 88 MPH. AT THIS EXACT POINT IN TIME THE SHIPS ON BOARD RADIO SYSTEMS SPRANG INTO LIFE AND GLORIOUS MUSIC FROM THE PAST SPURTED OUT OF THE SPEAKERS.

WARP DRIVE ACTIVE

THE CREW BEGAN TO WHOOP AND SING AS WE EMERGED FROM OUR WARP BACK IN TIME AT THE PREVIOUS BELT - RIGHT ON TOP OF THE PESKY RIFTER.

MARCONI PLAYS THE MAMBA
LISTEN TO THE RADIO
DON'T YOU REMEMBER?

WHAT FOLLOWED WAS SPECIAL, GROOVY, MAGICAL. WEBBED AND NEUTED AND A LITTLE TECH ONE BLASTER PLINKING AWAY AT THE IMMOBILIZED RIFTER - LOCAL CHAT SPRANG INTO LIFE.



Nigel VII > he's attacked



NOW THERE'S JUST ME AND THIS DUDE IN HERE, SO I SCRATCH MY HEAD AND CARRY ON WITH THE TASK IN HAND. YOU TALKING TO ME HUH? I REMAIN SILENT.


Nigel VII > you got web or scram?

BOTH

Nigel VII > shit, myu cap is done

THE CAPACITOR IS EMPTY

Nigel VII > he's got me webbed, crap he's hurting me

INSERT SHRIEKING ALARM NOISES HERE

Nigel VII > i'm trapped

HALP ME

I'M LOVING THIS, I'M LOLING TO MYSELF AND MY CREW IS RUNNING AROUND THE BRIDGE LIKE DEMONIC PRIMATES.

LEFT WAIST GUNNER

Nigel VII > don't think he was mining

YOU DON'T SAY

Firelight Morgenstern > gfgf


NOT THE BEST LOOKING RIFTER PUNK BUT COME ON. IT'S A BADGER.



fIRE.

Pizza Delivery Results in Death of Mining Ship

A DELIVERY OF EIGHT THOUSAND ODD PIZZAS HEADING FOR SOME PUNKS POS IN GELFIVEN WAS COOKING AWAY IN THE HOLD OF THE DRAEK OVEN BOAT DELIVERY BATTLECRUISER WHEN LEAVING ATLAR WE WERE INEXPLICABLY BUMPED INTO BY A RETRIEVER THAT MUST HAVE BEEN LOST OR SOMETHING.

PIZZA DELIVERY DRONE

ORDERING MY HEAD PIZZA GUY TO ISSUE A SITUATION REPORT ON THE PIZZAS HE REPORTED BACK THAT SOME OF THE EXPENSIVE LONG-LIMB ROES HAD FALLEN OFF THE LUXURY MEAT FEAST AND HAD MIXED INTO THE THUKKER TRIBE CHEESE MIX DELUXE. THIS WAS NOT GOOD NEWS. WE PRIDE OURSELVES AT COVERT PIZZA EXPRESS ON OUR FINE SERVICE AND PEOPLE DON'T EXPECT SQUASHED UP AND MANGLED PIZZA.

THE IMPACT HAD RUINED SOME 130 PIZZAS!

AS THE DRAEK BEGAN TO STRAIGHTEN AFTER IMPACT I GAVE THE ORDER TO SMOKE THE GOD DAMNED MINING BOAT OUT OF THE SKY! HAVING JUST COMPLETED HEAVY MISSILE SPEC TO LEVEL 5 SOME MINUTES EARLIER I WAS GETTING A TWITCHY TRIGGER FINGER ON MY MISSILE COMMAND BUTTON THAT SAT RIGHT NEXT TO THE SWITCH FOR OVERHEAT ON THE OVENS.

CALDARI NAVY SCOURGE HEAVY MISSILE

FFFOOOOOOOOOOSH WENT THE FLIGHT OF MISSILES AND BANG WENT THE RETRIEVER!

WE SAT OUT OUR CRIMINAL FLAG AND REARRANGED THE PIZZAS THE BEST WE COULD BEFORE MOVING ON TO OUR DELIVERY SYSTEM WHERE WE RECEIVED A MISERABLE TIP OF 26 ISK.

KEEP THE CHANGE YOURSELF NEXT TIME PUNK.

fIRE.